When someone asks “May I help you” or ” Do you need anything?”, how do you respond?   I am prone to say “No thanks, I am fine.” I HATE to appear weak or like I don’t know something I feel I should know.  But I recently read something that made me realize how off the mark I am.  It was a simple story about someone who was working hard to help a seriously ill family member.  She put off other things…….like looking at her messages…but when she eventually did, one was from a friend asking if she needed anything.  Her first response was to say no, because she was embarrassed!  That’s me!  I am embarrassed to ask for help!  Many times I have been too embarrassed to even ask a question!!

But I have been thinking lately about truth.  I value honesty, both in myself and others.  I am realizing that there are subtle ways we deviate from the truth. There are little ways we lie to others and ourselves.  It is a truth that if you are human, you are not truly self sufficient. There have been many who have helped and sacrificed for me in order for me to be where I am today.  No one can truly raise themselves and provide all of their own opportunities. We all need help in different ways.  I am realizing that my go to “I’m fine” answer says more about my pride than my real need.  I don’t like to admit that I need help.  I want the world to think I can take care of myself….that there is no problem I cannot solve.  I am NOT needy!

I need to try to understand better when and where I need help.  That would be a better use of my energy than hiding my needs from the world and even myself.  It is not a sign of weakness to admit you need help.  It is often a necessary first step to moving forward.  So I am resolving to admit I AM needy.  After all, it has been true all along. .. and pretending not to be is not healthy.  Besides, pretending to have it all together all the time is exhausting!

America’s trust in her government may be on the cusp of disintegrating!  Crispin Sartwell, a philosophy professor at Dickinson College in Carlisle, Pa. says that “The basic problem isn’t that people don’t trust institutions, but that the institutions aren’t trustworthy.”  Amen to that!  But neither is much of the media.  Or advertisements.  Or churches.  Or schools.

The downward slide toward allowing just a “facade of truth” has been a long one.  Think about it.  As a society, we have decided that truth is relative.  My truth may not be your truth.  But what you believe is equal to what I believe, regardless of whether or not either of our beliefs are true. How crazy is that?

No longer do we delve deep into a subject, searching honestly for the truth of a matter.  It is more important to uphold what is profitable, self-serving, politically expedient, or advantageous.  Lying for the greater good has become a normative behavior.  We lie to avoid hurting others. We lie to sell something.  We lie to avoid exposing our sins.  We lie to cover our previous lies.   You often cannot believe your neighbor or friend or work associate.  So if everyone has become a liar (and there are not little lies and big lies…..just lies), it is of course folly to believe an institution made up of liars.

I live in South Carolina and for days we have been wondering what effects hurricane Florence would have.  Though it was downgraded from a category 4 to a category 2 before landfall, it has certainly been destructive.  For some it has been truly devastating.  Suffering comes in all sorts of ways, but when it comes from something that we have absolutely no control over, it causes its own sort of anxiety.  And hopefully, it provokes deeper thought.

Control over our lives is pretty much an illusion, anyway.  We certainly have the ability to choose different paths.  But our vision of what is down those paths is very limited.  It is often the unexpected, good and bad, that shapes ours lives.  And sometimes what is painful redirects us to a better path.  Years ago, someone wrote “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn…”

My daughter was married this past weekend. The wedding was beautiful and the reception was so much fun. It is always wonderful to get a large group of friends and family together with great food and music….it definitely is a wondrous “moment” in life. I have been married 34 years and still look back at my wedding day and honeymoon with wonder.

Listening to my daughter and son-in-law say their vows made me remember how marriage is to be a mini-example of the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church. Each of them said to the other, “With all that I am, and with all that I have, I honor you” So simple. Why can we say that to another human and not to our creator? That is all he asks…for us to love Him with all we are.

So we should live with those words in our consciousness….

Lord, with all that I am and with all that I have, I honor You.

Such a simple way to change the world.

It is impossible to live long in this world without realizing that something is wrong.  That many things are wrong.  That our world is broken.  On this, all people can agree.  The reason for the brokenness and the solution to it are where opinions diverge.  For me, I believe that there are still VESTIGES of “how we were meant to be” evident all around.

The very fact that we are able to care, however inadequately, for someone outside ourself says that their is Truth beyond utilitarianism.  Evolution does not ever teach that it is wise to do for someone else UNLESS it benefits you in some way.   Survival of the fittest does not allow for caring for a handicapped child or helping the infirm elderly.  Yet most, whatever their belief system, would say that  these things are right to do.  Why?…a vestige.

There are terrible natural catastrophes such as hurricanes and floods and mudslides and fires.  But there are rainbows and starry nights and beautiful sunsets.  Coral of dazzling color buried deep under water where no human eye appreciates it .  Why?…a vestige.

And then there is human error (or dare I say sin?) that leads to broken families, homicides, abortion, or injustice of a million different varieties.  But as a society we still seek to enforce rules and correct injustice.  Why have laws?  Why seek to correct wrongs?  Why?….a vestige.

The list could go on, but you get my drift.  There is wisdom that generally leads to good.  Hard work generally gives a benefit to the worker.   As a general rule, doing good reaps healthy benefits and doing wrong (or evil) reaps loss and hurt.  But not always!  Our world is broken.  Why is it true at all?….a vestige.

There will come a day when the current world, with all its brokenness, will pass away.  Humans will still be in the process of trying to fix it themselves when God steps in to finally correct it all, just as He has promised.  How much better it would be for humanity in the meantime, if we spent a little more reflection on seeking the Wisdom that promises not just a total fix in the future, but a glimpse of it now if we listen.

What is wrong with the world?  As GK Chesterton famously wrote when asked that question, “I am.”

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PRECIOUS IN THE SIGHT OF THE LORD IS THE DEATH OF HIS SAINTS

Her last few years were marked by a battle against both cancer and dementia.  I lived 600 miles away from her.  Fortunately,  her suffering was lessened by my 2 sisters who lived close and did everything in their power, and more, to make mom comfortable.

Dementia is a sad disease.  People leave before they really leave.  It’s been a long time since I was able to call Mom and really have a discussion with her.  I could not talk to her about her day or mine, or discuss a problem, or get her opinion on an issue.  Because of this, I mourned the loss of my mom long before her heart quit beating.  I missed not being able to talk to her while she was alive.  I miss her physical presence now that she has died.  But the odd thing is that since she is now with the Lord and of sound mind again, in some way she feels closer.  I know that she is more alive now in heaven than she was when she lingered here on earth.

There is a verse, 2 Corinthians 5:4, which talks about death.  It says, ” while we are still in this tent (or body), we groan, (ain’t that the truth?) being burdened–not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be SWALLOWED UP BY LIFE.”

I am not one who favors the cold.  Temperatures near freezing always threaten to put me in a foul mood.  Sometimes in the morning on a cold day, the chirping of many birds will interrupt the silence of early morning.  Now chirping birds always lighten my mood.  Moods are a funny thing.  They come and go and can change so fast.  But I have found that an almost sure way to brighten a “less than sunny” mood is with trying to find my lost, grateful heart.

Have you ever sat down and tried to list 50 things you were grateful for?   This morning I tried to do 50 things just from nature.

I am grateful for……

sunshine, sandy beaches, gentle and warm rains, rainbows, warm breezes, bees, honey, the smell of honeysuckle, flowers that bloom, and trees that bud in the spring.

I love a full moon, country nights away from city lights full of stars, waterfalls, green valleys, country lanes, horses, friendly dogs, digging in the soil, a garden and fresh vegetables….

blue skies, fluffy clouds, gold and silver,  turquoise and quartz, the smell of rubber and the smell of baking bread, the colors of autumn and the crunch of walking in fall leaves….

the sound of children’s voices, gentle hugs, passionate kisses, butterflies, rhododendron in the mountains, gentle streams, the taste of fresh caught salmon, butter on fresh bread, cinnamon and caramel apples.

THE PRINCE OF PEACE

For to us a child is born,
To us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Christmas can be the best time of the year, but it can also be the most difficult.   Sorrow and loss seems to get magnified.  Expectations are raised high and reality rarely lives up to them.  It is important, midst all of the frustrations and turmoil and selfishness of this world, to remember that our biggest need was met by the child born in poverty in Bethlehem long ago.  Christ came with one purpose…..to die.  There was to be no peace between God and man unless ours sins were dealt with.  Since we were helpless to make ourselves good, as anyone who has ever really tried knows,  there was not much hope….until Bethlehem and Golgotha.  Only a sinless man who did not need to die could be an effective sacrifice………what love

How grateful I am for the peace that only Jesus can give. It is not dependent on circumstances.  It is not dependent on problems being solved.  It is dependent on my remaining dependent on Him.   Circumstances and problems will rob me of peace when they become my focus.  The turmoil and chaos of the world will destroy if it is not viewed through the filter of Christ.   Only when I am abiding in Him am I able to see a bigger picture.  He is the ultimate answer to every dilemma.   As long as I am alive on this earth, there will be sorrow and loss….but He truly has overcome the world.  The key is, as He tells us, to “look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen” (2 Cor 4:18)  As I begin to understand better who God is, He grows larger and the “passing away” things of this world grow smaller and smaller and smaller…..and less able to harm.

Merry Christmas to all!

It is a known fact that gratitude leads to health benefits.  Better sleep.  Less depression.  It even leads to a better immune system and less inflammation.  As the book of Proverbs says, “A joyful heart is good medicine.”  Inspite of the benefits of gratitude, however, it is not something well practiced.  We are not very good at saying thank you, or even thinking it.  Less than half of men and only slightly more than half of women regularly express any gratefulness on a regular basis.  According to Janice Kaplan, the  author of “The Gratitude Diaries”, the least grateful are those between the ages of 18-24.  But though hopefully one grows more grateful as one gets older, overall we are an ungrateful society, no matter our age.

A few years ago, in an effort to battle some depression, I read a book that encouraged me to begin a list of items for which I was thankful.  I have forgotten the name of the book, but as I remember I was to start with a basic list of a few items and add to it each day.  After the first few days when I listed the most obvious choices, I had to really think about what I could add.  It really was therapeutically amazing!!  I came up with so many things.  I was so blessed.  What I remember the most, was that many of the things I was thankful for were things I had been taking for granted.  The colors in a sunset or a warm breeze.  The beauty of a flower.  The song of a bird.  Once I started looking for things, I found them.  I had just been missing them even though they had been there all along.

I have never forgotten the lesson that book taught me.  Even today, I find it is fun to sit and see what I can come up with.  Take for instance the ability to smell or taste food.  Often we just breeze through a meal and in a few hours have forgotten what we have eaten.  But in slowing down and savoring you notice so much more.  Can you sort out the different spices in a good chili or appreciate the  texture of a really smooth custard?  Think of the genius that designed us.  How can we distinguish such differences.?  It is amazing to think that we can differentiate between tens of thousands of different smells, sometimes detecting a compound, in wine for instance, at a single part per trillion!  Of course we should be thankful for such ability.  Instead of being grateful, however, I find that I am much more likely to complain over the smell of sweaty socks than I am to appreciate the lavender in the wash that makes them smell fresh.

The weather is turning cold!   Winter can be a bit of a downer to some of us.  My prescription for a pick me up on a cold afternoon is ….TEA! There are a lot of health benefits available from cozying up to a cup of tea.  Of course, in the United States, coffee is still the beverage of choice when a little caffeine is needed.  Worldwide, however, tea is consumed at a rate 3 times that of coffee.  And even in the United States we are increasing our consumption of tea.  Most of us seem to prefer black tea (87%) but about 12.5% drink green tea.

Some of the benefits from tea, besides the sheer comfort of a hot drink, come from the caffeine it contains.  Research currently says that consuming up to 400 mg of caffeine daily is safe for most adults.  It can increase mental alertness, of course, but it also has been linked to a lower risk of Alzheimers disease.  It is important to remember, though, that too much of a good thing can cause some unwanted side effects such as headache, tremor, insomnia and anxiety.

And be careful what you put in your tea!  Adding a lot of sugar or cream may negate the  positive effects.  Definitely avoid nondairy creamers, as they often contain trans fat which you need to avoid at all costs!