When someone asks “May I help you” or ” Do you need anything?”, how do you respond? I am prone to say “No thanks, I am fine.” I HATE to appear weak or like I don’t know something I feel I should know. But I recently read something that made me realize how off the mark I am. It was a simple story about someone who was working hard to help a seriously ill family member. She put off other things…….like looking at her messages…but when she eventually did, one was from a friend asking if she needed anything. Her first response was to say no, because she was embarrassed! That’s me! I am embarrassed to ask for help! Many times I have been too embarrassed to even ask a question!!
But I have been thinking lately about truth. I value honesty, both in myself and others. I am realizing that there are subtle ways we deviate from the truth. There are little ways we lie to others and ourselves. It is a truth that if you are human, you are not truly self sufficient. There have been many who have helped and sacrificed for me in order for me to be where I am today. No one can truly raise themselves and provide all of their own opportunities. We all need help in different ways. I am realizing that my go to “I’m fine” answer says more about my pride than my real need. I don’t like to admit that I need help. I want the world to think I can take care of myself….that there is no problem I cannot solve. I am NOT needy!
I need to try to understand better when and where I need help. That would be a better use of my energy than hiding my needs from the world and even myself. It is not a sign of weakness to admit you need help. It is often a necessary first step to moving forward. So I am resolving to admit I AM needy. After all, it has been true all along. .. and pretending not to be is not healthy. Besides, pretending to have it all together all the time is exhausting!
